Monday, August 4, 2014

Fear of Clowns

It's a thing.  Seriously, it's a condition called Coulrophobia.  My sister Jen suffers from this condition, which I can understand because - CLOWNS WILL EAT YOU!  Did you ever have a clown at your birthday party?  I think we (my brother and I) might have had a clown one time at our birthday party, or someone else's party.  I don't know, maybe I'm making that memory up, but still.  I have to side with Jen on this.

There are all kinds of clowns: nice clowns, scary clowns, and demonic clowns.  But don't you have to be a little demonic to be a clown?  Or, perhaps a little sad and you have lost your way.  "Here are some balloon animals, kids!  Pay no attention to my razor sharp teeth!  Plus, I'm probably half drunk on whiskey because, well, I'm a clown and to get through this party gig, I have to down SOMETHING to hide the pain of being a clown!"

I don't think anyone grows up and wants to be a clown.  Okay, that's not entirely true, as I am sure some people actually want to run away and join the circus.  There are clowns at the circus, but they aren't quite as scary as some other clowns that I have seen.  Wouldn't you eventually want to be a trapeze artist?  Plus, how do they fit so many people in their tiny car?!?

There is even a Clown Hotel!  (I included the link as they don't actually have their own website.)  Apparently it is haunted by hundreds of dead clowns.  Umm....yeah, I don't think I'll be road trippin' it with Jen to the Clown Hotel any time soon.  Unless I could revive her from her shock, but I'm no doctor!  Jen is so afraid of clowns that her personal hell would be inhabited by clowns.  But, she's a good person.  No clown hell for her!

Here's to all the coulrophobes!  May you never encounter a clown and may you absolutely never stay in the Clown Motel!  Also, stay away from circuses - especially if there are clowns involved.

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